Stop watching the scary movie!
As a child, I remember many times when either me or my little brother (I or my little brother? My little brother or I?) would watch something or listen to something scary, and then we would have a nightmare, or just be extra jumpy, and Mama would say "oh be careful little eyes (ears) what you see (hear)." And that has followed me into adulthood. Before I had kids, when I was young and stupid (or at least on something that made me stupid) I LOVED horror movies. The more gore, the better. And PROBABLY because I was on one substance or another, the boogeyBoo didn't bother me as much as he used to. So imagine my surprise when my little brother recommended a horror flick that he thought I'd like, and 30 minutes into it, I suddenly became very aware of the fact that my infant son was sleeping upstairs, and what would those precious little baby ears think about what silly Mama was watching just a few yards away from him? And the Boogeyman was back, and I can't watch that kind of thing anymore.
But that's really okay, because I put enough garbage into my head to make up for it. It just happens to be Paw Patrol and Dora the Explorer, and such as that.
So when I tried to watch a show recently, and all of a sudden, I heard Mama telling me to be CAREFUL, little eyes, BE CAREFUL, BE CAREFUL!!!!! I ignored it at first..... I'm going to be 30 in a few months.... I don't have to listen to my Mama, right?
Drugs. Alcohol. Same sex affairs. Cigarettes. Jealousy, the blinding kind. All of these things are in the show I was watching. All of these things are things I have struggled with, fought with, CONTINUE to fight with. And I noticed myself wondering how much a pack of Camel menthols cost these days. Or how I could get away with getting a small bottle of bourbon and not telling anyone about it. Or how I could maybe find some pills that I don't need......
This show will be GREAT entertainment for SOMEONE. It's not a "bad" show. But my Mama told me to BE CAREFUL, little eyes, what you see. And yes, I still listen to my Mama.
I can't control what shows are made, what ads I see on a regular basis, to a point, I can't really even control when and where I'm going to have a craving for a drink, or a cigarette, or a hit. But because I have addictions to so many things, I HAVE to control what I choose to watch, or listen to, or think about. Because my Boogeyman leads to certain death, and I will not go into that death willingly.
What I have decided to do instead, is to acknowledge the scary movie as what it is, instead of saying "it won't bother me THIS time, not again, I don't think....", to be open with my accountability partner (my husband) and myself, that no, I don't WANT this show to trigger me, but it IS, so I'm not going to watch it anymore. To write (type) out the things I'm thinking so I have something tangible to show myself what I am doing, and to change direction altogether. TV off for the night, and for a little while, instead of watching tv, I'll read my Bible. Because I would rather put truth and knowledge into my eyes, ears, soul, than random trash tv that will serve no purpose except to upset my little eyes and ears.
See you later.
But that's really okay, because I put enough garbage into my head to make up for it. It just happens to be Paw Patrol and Dora the Explorer, and such as that.
So when I tried to watch a show recently, and all of a sudden, I heard Mama telling me to be CAREFUL, little eyes, BE CAREFUL, BE CAREFUL!!!!! I ignored it at first..... I'm going to be 30 in a few months.... I don't have to listen to my Mama, right?
Drugs. Alcohol. Same sex affairs. Cigarettes. Jealousy, the blinding kind. All of these things are in the show I was watching. All of these things are things I have struggled with, fought with, CONTINUE to fight with. And I noticed myself wondering how much a pack of Camel menthols cost these days. Or how I could get away with getting a small bottle of bourbon and not telling anyone about it. Or how I could maybe find some pills that I don't need......
This show will be GREAT entertainment for SOMEONE. It's not a "bad" show. But my Mama told me to BE CAREFUL, little eyes, what you see. And yes, I still listen to my Mama.
I can't control what shows are made, what ads I see on a regular basis, to a point, I can't really even control when and where I'm going to have a craving for a drink, or a cigarette, or a hit. But because I have addictions to so many things, I HAVE to control what I choose to watch, or listen to, or think about. Because my Boogeyman leads to certain death, and I will not go into that death willingly.
What I have decided to do instead, is to acknowledge the scary movie as what it is, instead of saying "it won't bother me THIS time, not again, I don't think....", to be open with my accountability partner (my husband) and myself, that no, I don't WANT this show to trigger me, but it IS, so I'm not going to watch it anymore. To write (type) out the things I'm thinking so I have something tangible to show myself what I am doing, and to change direction altogether. TV off for the night, and for a little while, instead of watching tv, I'll read my Bible. Because I would rather put truth and knowledge into my eyes, ears, soul, than random trash tv that will serve no purpose except to upset my little eyes and ears.
See you later.
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