Because the Benefits Outweigh the Risks

In 2008 I started working at an assisted living facility. I was a year or so into a really terrible relationship, had recently moved out of my parents' house, and was really lonely, especially since girls are mean and I quickly found out that high school drama doesn't go away after high school. One day at work when I was on a smoke break, I was sitting on the covered patio area and this tiny, all skin and bones kitten came up to me and jumped on the bench and just sat with me. She didn't seem to mind the smoke, wasn't begging for food, wasn't even really begging for attention. She was just sitting there. I petted her for a bit and while I was out there, a few residents came out for a cigarette break and all of them knew this tiny black Manx who apparently was only interested in comforting others. And no one knew where she came from. For a couple of days after that, I would drive around town because SURELY this was someone's pet. You just don't get a cat that acts like this without it being SOMEONE'S pet! But I never did see any signs, posters, anything. And then I heard that the director had told all employees not to feed her, and that he planned on having her euthanized because he didn't want to be liable for any injuries the cat might cause. And that's about the time I decided to turn catnapper.

I had just recently lost my very favorite, best kitten in the world, who had stayed with my parents when I left because I couldn't take her with me, she decided to go see Middle Earth one more time, and I can't blame her. So I decided that my father REALLY needed a new cat, and here I've found a cat that REALLY needed a home. Made sense to me to put the two together......

He said he didn't want a cat. He said he'd hold on to her for long enough for me to find an actual home for her. Oh, and I SURPRISED him with her, I don't think I had mentioned a little malnourished Manx kitten to him before. Because why ruin the surprise or give him a chance to think up any flimsy excuses as to why he couldn't take her.......

A few days after I took the little kitty I had named Twilight (NOT because of the movies, but because she was a black cat with the deepest, purest green eyes that just beamed) I went to check on how things were going with my father and the cat. I walked into his office, and there was the cat, sitting in his lap, waiting patiently for the next bite of ice cream to be offered to her.
Meatloaf.
Sandwiches.
Mashed potatoes.
More ice cream.
Cake.
Oh and as much seltzer water and orange juice as she wanted.
"But she's HUNGRY! She's SO SKINNY! I HAVE to take care of her!!!!"

This happened to be a pretty trying time in my father's life. I won't go into details because it's not my story to tell, but he was on the cusp of a divorce and dealing with personal issues that I honestly did not think he could come back from. I thought I wanted that cat. I didn't know that she would give my father something to continue to wake up for. I didn't know that she was the thing that he needed to be able to love, protect, take care of, spoil..... I didn't know that she was put on this Earth to be Papa's bad old puddy tat.

He named her Sugar Belly, because she was a mostly black cat with little white hairs on her tummy. I didn't think it was a good name for a cat, but it was the perfect name for her. We thought Shug was a kitten, come to find out she was already fixed, and was probably 2 or 3 years old, just incredibly underfed.

I guess there are certain animals that you just bond with more, I don't think it means you didn't like the ones before them, some animals are just bound to be better suited to your personality, your emotional needs, something...... Shug turned from an underfed bright eyed Manx cat to a big ole fat bright eyed Manx puddy tat. She scared dogs away, she ruled the house with her chubby furry little fists, and I don't think anyone who had the pleasure of meeting her (humans, at least) didn't like her. She just had the ability of putting us all under a spell, and we all were just happy that she was there.

Sugar Belly did a whole lot in her long life. Sugar Belly scared every single dog she ever saw, Sugar Belly allowed at LEAST 3 babies to use her as a chew toy, Sugar Belly always pretended to be hiding when I went to visit her, but she always let me find her to give her attention.

Sugar Belly sat with my father when I couldn't stand to be in the same house with him.

Cats get the bad wrap of being sneaky hateful little jerks. And they can be, don't get me wrong. But they can also be so full of unconditional love, that when the day comes, and they aren't there anymore, it leaves me wondering how such a creature could just. Not. Be. Anymore. And there is such a void. And it hurts. And it's not okay. And at the same time, I know......

I was driving to work on Sunday, August 27th, 2018, and my Papa called me. And I never ever ever expected to hear those words. Not that sweet baby. Not that good girl.

"I wanted to let you know, that Sugar Belly passed away."

And I KNOW all the things...... She's not hurting anymore, she knew she was loved, she was with her Papa when she went, there couldn't have been a better way..... I KNOW ALL OF THAT. But it's that little skinny baby kitty that came to sit with me when all I was thinking about was how I didn't think I could make it another day. It's that little baby kitten that Papa said he wasn't keeping, but she had already decided she was keeping him. It's that ice cream eating, poodle-terrorizing, baby drool covered, belly flab swinging, sweet little angel baby of my Sugar Belly.

And I always say, why the hell do we keep getting animals when we know they're going to die before we do???????

It's because that sweet furry loving animal is worth the hurt, is worth the grief, is worth the tears, because they give us a different kind of love than anyone else ever could, and that benefit outweighs the risk of losing them.

Sugar Belly, I'll see you over the rainbow bridge, my darling, and I'll bring extra ice cream if you promise you'll let me have one little bite.